A new intimacy

June 22, 2020 · Print This Article

After 51 years of marriage my wife and I know each other very well. But this lockdown has created a new intimacy between us. Women may understand the importance of this rather better than men. For the first time in our married life, I have been allowed to cut my wife’s hair – under strict instruction as to how and where – and only just the once so far! (By comparison, I have allowed my wife to cut my hair three times, although seeing as I am quite bald on top, that’s not too onerous a task.)

I don’t think our local ladies’ hairdresser or barber’s shop have anything to fear as we will both be returning to them as and when they open. But I have now learnt that to be allowed to cut a lady’s hair requires a great deal of trust and intimacy in a relationship. Even after 51 years, my wife was very nervous about letting me loose on her crowning glory. However, she was pleasantly surprised at the outcome. Either that, or too polite to say anything!

When I suggested that I was paid the going rate, and where was my tip, her thin smile told me that next time she did my hair I might end up completely bald!

But as close as I think we are, being allowed to cut my wife’s hair was quite a privilege and depending on how fast the lockdown is eased I might have to do it again. I expect I am not the only man who has been allowed to cut his partner’s hair in this current lockdown, but it certainly felt like our relationship had reached new heights.

Which got me thinking about trust and intimacy in human relationships. Do we have family or friends that we have a close connection with? Do we have someone we can share a problem with, a person we can trust absolutely? I used to have that kind of relationship with my younger brother, but sadly he died recently. We could tell each other anything, share our triumphs and disasters openly with no hint of judgement or criticism. I guess such intimacy can only come from growing up together, having each other’s backs in any situation and, despite leading different lives, somehow remaining closely connected throughout our lives.

Which then got me thinking about another very close relationship in my life. One that is even more important than the one I have with my wife (and you might be surprised to learn that she understands and supports this). I’m talking about my relationship with God, forged over 45 years of following the Christian faith.

It is interesting that many people today fear to have a relationship with God, let alone an intimate one in which they have absolute trust and can tell God anything. Yet when we understand who and what God, is we find out that he already knows us intimately, whether we realise it or not.

There is no mistake we can make that God does not already know and none that is beyond his power to forgive, God has watched humanity since he created us and we can never surprise him. That ancient book of wisdom, the Bible, tells us that God loves us, but why, oh why, do we find it so hard to believe? The answer, in the main, is because we don’t know him.

If you have a close, deep, intimate, trusting relationship with somebody in your life, as I did with my brother for many years, it is sad but inevitable that one day that relationship will come to an end. Either through a change of job, a move to another part of the world, a breakup or divorce, an illness or death.

But a close, deep, intimate relationship with God will never come to an end, whatever our circumstances in life or death. Yes, not even death can end that relationship with God!

With that in mind, I would like finish by throwing out a challenge to you. Why not take the first step in building that unbreakable, eternal relationship with your God? You have absolutely nothing to lose.

Keith Hartrick info@because.uk.com

Keith is an editor at Because

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